November 7, 2024 Loving Well
Thursday, November 7, 2024
Loving Well
3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,
but have not love, I gain nothing
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant 5 or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13: 3-7, ESV
The Enneagram* workshop confirmed what I already knew and admitted here before … I was born with the nature of a “perfectionist/reformer,” one motivated and driven to do the right thing the right way all the time. When taken to an extreme, this tendency to perfect oneself and the world can leave me exhausted and others annoyed. That’s also why in pursuit of making myself and the world a better place, I may avoid the task/situation altogether or procrastinate until I know I can make it perfect.
I like to think that by this age, my self-awareness and work on this tendency has enabled me to better forgive myself and others for being imperfect and to wait patiently with processes that move slower than I desire. But I still have to ask … don’t laugh now … what more can a recovering perfectionist do to improve?
No sooner did the question pop into my mind than the workshop facilitator suggested the path to continued personal growth: Your path is not to perfect yourself, but to perfect your love – of self, others, and the world.
Regardless of personality strengths and weaknesses, perfecting how we love is key to flourishing personally and in relationships. The Apostle Paul suggests in I Corinthians 13 what loving well looks like: Love…
- Suffers long (Am I patient with the shortcomings of others?)
- Is kind (Do I use a gentle tone even when frustrated, annoyed, or hurt?)
- Rejoices in the truth (Do I encourage the truth even at my expense?)
- Bears all things (Do I respond lovingly even when life is hard?)
- Believes all things (Do I take God at His Word and trust in my relationship with Him?)
- Hopes all things (Do I look for the potential and best in another?)
- Endures all things (Do I love another even when he/she is unlovable?)
Because God first loved us, we can follow His lead in giving grace for imperfections and failures. In so doing, we enable both ourselves and others to flourish and thrive.
Reflect: Do you spend more energy on perfecting yourself and the world or on intentionally perfecting how you love? What is one way you can intentionally love the people God places in your life today?
Pray: Father-God, Forgive me for the times I fail to love well. Teach me how to give generously and gracefully in my relationships and when to put the brakes on my words or behaviors that may wound others. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, my ultimate model for sacrificially loving well. Amen.
*The Enneagram is a tool that helps one understand the distinct way you see the world and your underlying motivations that influence how you think, feel, and behave. One resource is Suzanne Stabile’s and Ian Cron’s book, The Road Back to You.
By His Grace,
Gloria Ashby
Lay Leader