November 8, 2024 Restraints to Loving Well

Gloria Ashby   -  

Friday, November 8, 2024

Restraints to Loving Well

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, ESV

The Hiding Place is a true story of the Ten Boom family’s selfless service during World War II. Betrayed and imprisoned for hiding Jews within their Christian home in the Nazi-occupied Netherlands, Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsie day after day exchanged love and forgiveness for the hatred and cruelty they experienced at the hands of their captors.

In one instance, after a German officer struck Betsie hard enough to bring blood, Corrie was ready to retaliate. Betsie said, “Oh, Corrie, I feel so sorry for him.” Later, after learning about the fellow countryman who betrayed the family to the Gestapo, Betsie responded to Corrie’s anger, “How dreadfully he must be suffering.”  Her sister’s restraint and love led Corrie to acknowledge, “I saw a gray uniform and visored hat. Betsie saw a wounded human being.”

Re-reading this book with a study group, I was repeatedly struck by the strength of this family’s ability to forgive and love well. They were empowered by their faith and trusted in God alone for provision and deliverance. Betsie in particular looked at others through the spiritual lens of Christ-like love.

The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 13 paints a picture of “to do’s” for loving well but also a list of restraints:  Love…

  • Restrains from envy (Do I compare my relationships and life with others?)
  • Does not boast (Do I keep myself and my personal achievements in the spotlight?)
  • Restrains from arrogance (Does pride rather than humility guide my actions and words?)
  • Does not behave rudely (Am I harsh with someone or seek retaliation for a perceived wrong?)
  • Does not seek its own way (Do I put my interests ahead of those of another?)
  • Is not irritable or resentful (Do I let little things steal my joy or think I am the only one helping?)
  • Does not rejoice in wrong-doing (Do I keep record and harp on another’s mistakes?)
  • Never fails (Do I quit when things get hard or I am the brunt of someone else’s behavior?)

Because we are human and imperfect, we will imperfectly love others well. But trying to love well is still worth pursuing. It means both giving positive unconditional love as well as hitting the brakes on any behavior that wounds another, even those who wound us.

Reflect:  Which of the bulleted restraints can you practice more intentionally to perfect how you love?

Pray: Father-God, today help me to look upon the world with eyes full of Your love. Today, I want to see beyond the appearances of Your children to see them as You see them. Enable me to appreciate the goodness of each person and respond in ways that reflect You and Your love. In the name of Your Son, Amen.

By His Grace,
Gloria Ashby
Lay Leader